There is beauty in the unknowing, a marvelous calm in knowing only that the push in one direction or another is completely out of your hands. We’re standing at the crossroads of what is to come next, and I finally don’t feel anxious. Struggling and squirming won’t change anything and all of the decisions are not mine to be made. The only option now is to be present and enjoy the waiting, knowing that no matter which direction we are nudged in, all will be well.
I thought by now I would be better at lingering in this this liminal space between gigantic momentous occasions, given that our life has been seemingly peppered with them in the last 7 years. I wear the yoke of responsibility with unease however, and hold my shoulders up tentatively counting the seconds until I can put it down and stop pretending to be so strong. But I am resilient and thankfully I don’t have to carry these burdens on my own.
In the quiet seconds between the racing thoughts of wondering what will be, I breathe deeply and remember just how lucky I am. I never want to forget the luxury of change and the things that stay the same no matter what happens…my family, my friends, my tenacity, my passion, my partner. So we wait, turning our minds over and over the different possibilities that might lie waiting for us down whichever path we go, and trying to be patient. That’s the real beauty of the betwixt and between space of liminality: the dreaming of what cannot be known and all the endless possibilities that are waiting beyond this space where we are right now.