Thursday, February 28, 2013

Dear Abby,

Dear Abby,
I want to finish my dissertation and become Dr. Mama, but I'm not sure how to make it happen with two kids under 5.  My husband is really helpful with the kids, but my advisor has forgotten that I'm alive.  How can I make this all work to finally finish this degree and move on with my career?
Sincerely,
ABD Mama

Dear ABD Mama,
Suck it up.  Nobody held your hand so far in the process, so why should you expect it now.  Stop doubting yourself and start working out of your comfort hours.  Home with kids all day?  Work at night.  Writer's block is for people without deadlines to meet, and it sounds like that is not a luxury you enjoy.  Happy writing.
Abby




Dear Abby,
We just moved to a new town and are related to most of the people we know.  We miss our friends in the past 3 towns we've lived in and aren't sure where we're going to be a year from now.  The uncertainty and lack of friend faces here makes the stress that much more unbearable.  What should we do?
Yours,
Stressed Family of 4

Dear Stressed Family of 4,
First, you need to stop moving so much.  How do you expect to make friends if you are already planning your next move?  Enjoy the place that you are in right now, and relish all the time you get to spend with your extended family.  Friends are great, but family is the greatest and most important part of your life.  Focus on your family for now, and you'll make friends too.  You just can't rush these things.
Abby



Mama's Losin' It








16 comments:

  1. Love the Dear Abby segments! It's kind of a pep talk I needed to have with myself.

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! My subconscious advice-giver loves to kick my conscious doubter's butt in gear.

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  2. Good advice from your Dear Abby, You can't have too many friends, even if you are related to them.

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely! Thankfully we have some more real gems in our family.

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  3. Awesome and very good advice!!!

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    1. Thanks. Now if only I can follow it for myself...

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  4. You sound pretty tough on yourself. At the same time, you're not making excuses. Those are tough ones.

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    1. I've always been my own worst critic and biggest cheerleader at the same time. I might have issues with creating realistic expectations for myself.

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  5. I like your quippy responses. They made me smile. At the same time, I agree with Missy. Your advisor should know you exist! How about reaching out to him/her ASAP?

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    1. Ahh, if only reaching out worked. I'll get through it without him really.

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  6. good luck with everything! and as a fellow too-hard-on-myselfer, i feel your pain, but also allow yourself some steady progression! rome wasn't built in a day ;)

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    1. As Anne LaMott says, "Bird by bird."

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  7. This is awesome!
    I need to Dear Abby myself more. I think it would be helpful! I know just what Abby would say of my seeming inability to follow an exercise routine.
    This is genius! --Lisa

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    1. Thanks Lisa. I have to give myself regular pep talks and reality checks...it just keeps me going. :-)

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  8. Love the self pep talk! We all need those! ;)

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