Thursday, April 4, 2013

I'd Make a Horrible Famous Person

Mama Kat asked us to write this week about something we learned from a magazine.  I have to say that most of what I've learned from magazines is that I would make a horrible famous person.  I honestly have no clue when it comes to fashion, make-up, style, posing, extreme dieting, pilates, and the whole seemingly high school-esque social network of Hollywood.  I assume these are the things you have to know about in order to be famous.  Well those things, and of course how to design your own fragrance.  

I've had subscriptions to magazines almost my entire life.  Seventeen, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, People, and several others in this same vein have received my money at one point or another.  My academic adviser actually calls People Magazine the American Journal of Pop Culture and encourages me to read it to better relate to my adolescent participants.  I mostly just read it for the occasional pictures of hunky/brainy celebs like Ryan Gosling & Matt Damon, and of course for the easiest crossword puzzle ever.  Despite all my reading about which color is in this season and what style of shoes would look best on my feet, I have yet to ever really absorb the fashion and style advice given there.  

What did I actually absorb from those magazines other than a really distorted image of what the female ideal is?  Good question!  I'm not sure.  I swear I must get something out of the magazines, but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.  I do literally get something out of magazines though.  For the past 7 years I've been collecting ridiculous advertisements from them.  You know, the ones that make you laugh out loud because they are so ridiculously sexist and absurd.  I've been saving them for someday when I'm teaching a class.  They are fascinatingly disgusting examples of cultural ideals being shaped into consumable bites, and I mostly can't stomach them.  

I do also read parenting magazines occasionally, but I've yet to read anything groundbreaking in one of them.  I mean, how many times can you write about how exhausting parenthood is and which product is best for diaper rashes.  As with most magazines, I'm typically appalled by the sheer volume of space that is taken up by advertisements, and parenting magazines of all stripes do this too.  Even the crunchy parenting magazines fill up their spaces with advertisements for organic non-toxic butt paste or what-have-you.  As is probably no surprise, since I'm such a world famous blogger and academic, I much prefer trusted internet sites and academic journals for getting my information.  Surely I'm not the only one.  

So fame, sorry we won't ever tango. According to all the magazine experts out there, I just don't fit your mold.  That's fine with me.  I'd rather not have the paparazzi following my every move anyway.  




Mama’s Losin’ It


20 comments:

  1. Funny! And the picture at the end made the whole post even better. I sadly won't become famous either. It sounds like way too much work, and I definitely can't fit all that self-indulgence into my current schedule of putting off housework and avoiding the grocery store.

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    1. Surely if we were famous, we'd have maids and personal assistants to do all the drudge work for us. I would anyway!

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  2. That's a really unusual take on magazines. I too wrote on this prompt this week.

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    1. I always seem to take these prompts in an odd direction. I'm not sure what that says about my personality...hmmmm.

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  3. Love that winking photo of you! (FAB necklace BTW.)

    One of the smartest people I know reads People Magazine every week cover to cover. She figures that way she knows what's going on pop culture-wise and can find something to talk about with absolutely anyone, be it what movies are out, what books are hot or what actress is currently (not really) pregnant. And I'm sure the shirtless pics of Ryan Gosling on the beach certainly don't hurt either! ;)

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    1. Go check out my friend Kate's Anthropic Treasures if you like that necklace: http://www.etsy.com/shop/katemasley
      Mmmm shirtless Ryan Gosling...

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  4. I agree! Fun post to read. I've never been interested in any magazine that has to do with people. My own life is entertaining enough! And, who has the time, anyway. Although, I have always liked home decorating, paint, and gardening magazines. Ones that I can learn something from.

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    1. As an anthropologist, I LOVE reading about people. It's the inundation with buy-buy-buy that really drives me nuts.

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  5. My problem is that I don't know anyone new in Hollywood, so when I look at People Magazine, I often say, "oh that's who he/she is." That is why the cross word puzzle isn't so easy for me. Thanks for visiting.
    Katie atBankerchick Scratchings

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    1. That would make it really difficult.

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  6. I don't follow the celebs too much other than the talk radio show I listen to. They fill me in on celeb gossip and make me laugh at the same time. If I didn't listen to the radio I wouldn't know who any of the current celebs are!

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    1. OI the gossip! I try so hard not to get into it, but I totally do.

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  7. I think you'd make a FANTASTIC famous person! I'd love to see someone not over slathered in makeup, in regular clothes, with an adorable chunky purple necklace giving me a wink.
    I read Glamour and a few others for YEARS...but stopped awhile back. I didn't absorb any fashion sense and it just seemed like ad after ad after ad. Now the only magazine I read is Entertainment Weekly. --Lisa

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    1. Oooooo EW is a great one! I'm hoping if I'm ever famous, that I'll be able to afford a stylist too.

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  8. I would be terrible at being famous. I'm the idiot who picks up a People mag in the dentist's office and has to say "who the heck is this celeb?" So out of the loop. Of course I am also sadly lacking in fashion sense and cool factor. :) Fun post - I often link up at Mama Kat's but skipped this week. This would've been a fun prompt.

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    1. Some of the younger ones are hard for me to remember too.

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  9. I think we both kept the magazine business afloat for way too long. LAUGHED BY ASS OFF at that picture, by the way. You do sexy like I do sexy. Speaking of pictures, I have no idea what happened, but I was playing with my phone (which I don't fully understand) and there was a picture from you! Not sure what happened, but it made smile in the midst of a horrible traffic jam in central Florida. Thank you!

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    1. Um, awesome that you had my picture on your phone by accident! Sexy? I was going for glamorous. ;-)

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  10. I used to collect ads when I was in high school, and then my best friend and I would mail them to each other. Yes, I was super goofy, even then!

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    1. Ok that is awesome that you would mail them to each other. I may have to start doing that with my besty.

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